quitting the subjectivity game

the book "infinite and finite games" by james carse persuaded me

that everything in this society is a game.

being a lawyer is a game.

being a doctor is a game.

creating advertising is a game.

so... yes, being a psychiatric patient is a game.

it is not simply a matter of being truthful all the time.

if you are simply truthful all the time, you may get locked up and abused and tortured.

i have been abused. i have been tortured.

so if i choose to withdraw from the psychiatry game,

obviously in my experience i cannot simply inform everyone that

i am refusing to see a psychiatrist, that i am refusing to take the drugs.

my experience is that i then get locked up and forced to take drugs.

is this a democracy, where human rights are respected?

obviously, this society is not a democracy. human rights are not respected.

so withdrawing from drugs is a longer term process, and in my experience

should take place with the knowledge and support of a doctor.

if i have been stable for a year and a half, obviously that is not as persuasive

as being stable for 5 or 10 years.

subjectivity is a game.

you see yourself as a person who is seeking freedom or trying to avoid suffering.

subjectivity is a process of seeing the world as made up of nouns.

'I' am a noun. 'the doctor' is a noun.

and then you think you have to talk about yourself endlessly,

as if that's going to get you somewhere.

but when you realize you want to get out of the game of subjectivity

with a psychiatrist, then you have layers of truth and deception.

YOU MUST SEE YOURSELF AS FUNDAMENTALLY ALL RIGHT.

then you can gain your freedom, albeit over a long period of time.

but if you do as you were taught as a child, and be 100 percent truthful all the time

you are only making it more difficult for yourself, if not impossible.

THE GOAL IS FREEDOM.

to that end, it is all right to be persuasive, to tell the truth in small details, to deceive

in large matters, if that will get you freedom from the game of psychiatric abuse.

forget about subjectivity. it is a fiction. in this world you need freedom.

everything is a verb. THE PSYCHIATRIST IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.